E o nome da força unificadora é Jesus!

Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New Intelligent Falling Theory

The Onion

Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory

TOPEKA, KS-Evangelical physicists are now asserting that objects fall because a higher power is pushing them down.

Sugiro a leitura completa. Deixo aqui alguns destaques:

"According to the ECFR paper published simultaneously this week in the International Journal Of Science and the adolescent magazine God's Word For Teens!, there are many phenomena that cannot be explained by secular gravity alone, including such mysteries as how angels fly, how Jesus ascended into Heaven, and how Satan fell when cast out of Paradise.

The ECFR, in conjunction with the Christian Coalition and other Christian conservative action groups, is calling for public-school curriculums to give equal time to the Intelligent Falling theory. They insist they are not asking that the theory of gravity be banned from schools, but only that students be offered both sides of the issue "so they can make an informed decision."

"We just want the best possible education for Kansas' kids," Burdett said.

Proponents of Intelligent Falling assert that the different theories used by secular physicists to explain gravity are not internally consistent. Even critics of Intelligent Falling admit that Einstein's ideas about gravity are mathematically irreconcilable with quantum mechanics. This fact, Intelligent Falling proponents say, proves that gravity is a theory in crisis.

"Let's take a look at the evidence," said ECFR senior fellow Gregory Lunsden."In Matthew 15:14, Jesus says, 'And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch.' He says nothing about some gravity making them fall—just that they will fall. Then, in Job 5:7, we read, 'But mankind is born to trouble, as surely as sparks fly upwards.' If gravity is pulling everything down, why do the sparks fly upwards with great surety? This clearly indicates that a conscious intelligence governs all falling."

Critics of Intelligent Falling point out that gravity is a provable law based on empirical observations of natural phenomena. Evangelical physicists, however, insist that there is no conflict between Newton's mathematics and Holy Scripture.

"Closed-minded gravitists cannot find a way to make Einstein's general relativity match up with the subatomic quantum world," said Dr. Ellen Carson, a leading Intelligent Falling expert known for her work with the Kansan Youth Ministry. "They've been trying to do it for the better part of a century now, and despite all their empirical observation and carefully compiled data, they still don't know how." (...)

Anti-falling physicists have been theorizing for decades about the 'electromagnetic force,' the 'weak nuclear force,' the 'strong nuclear force,' and so-called 'force of gravity,'" Burdett said. "And they tilt their findings toward trying to unite them into one force. But readers of the Bible have already known for millennia what this one, unified force is: His name is Jesus."

(Agradeço a dica ao Agreste Avena.)

6 comentários:

JSA disse...
Este comentário foi removido por um gestor do blogue.
MP-S disse...

Pa', nao me vais dizer que a gravidade secular (nao confundir com a gravidade resonante, ou orbital,ou etc.) explica 'such mysteries as how angels fly, how Jesus ascended into Heaven, and how Satan fell when cast out of Paradise.' :O)) Nao explica, os tipos teem toda a razao!

but only that students be offered both sides of the issue "so they can make an informed decision."

Apenas me ocorre acrescentar que tambem seria importante apresentar aos estudantes os dois lados de outros assuntos - a comecar pela tira de Mobius. :O))

'the ECFR is the world's leading institution of evangelical physics'

Cum caneco, mas isto hoje e' 1 de Abril, ou que?!?

Zèd disse...

Graças a Deus que existe o "The Onion"

Filipe Moura disse...

Epá ó MP-S, se calhar é erro meu mas eu espero que os leitores saibam que o The Onion é um jornal satírico...

MP-S disse...

Uff... (suspiro... de alivio) :O))

Luis disse...

"jornal satírico"?!?

Eu depois de ler uma notícia que anunciava que o Bill Gates ia patentear o 0 e o 1 dos bits pensei que não era atírico mas sim hiperrealista.

E eu estou cá desconfiado que as coisas que andam a ser escritas na Blasfémia sobre a escravatura também só podem ser satíricas ou hiperrealistas ...